MY WHAT ARE WHAT?
by StuffJunkers
Summary: One day Zelda comes to visit Peach at her Castle. Then Zelda notices something which leads to Zelda kidnapping Peach to prove a useless fact. Rated T for Sexual Themes, minor language and pure randomness!


**Is Zelda going through "That Time"?**

**Disclaimer: I don't own any of the Super Smash Bros. Characters**

Princess Zelda had just arrived at Princess Peach's castle via Luma Portal. The two Princess' were going to chat and relax on this fine afternoon.

"I'm so glad you could come to chat with me Zelda, we haven't talked at all since we defeated Tabuu. I'm so happy to see your doing so well." Peach said sweetly while showing Zelda to her balcony.

"It has been a while, Your kingdom is beautiful." Zelda said while taking a seat on a balcony that had marble floors, two very comfortable cushioned chair and, a little wooden table.

"Well if I remember, your kingdom is just as beautiful!" Peach gave Zelda a kind smile.

"I didn't know if I could make it because I'm having my..." Zelda didn't finish her sentence because she noticed something that she shouldn't have.

"Um...you're having your what?"

"WHY THE HELL ARE YOUR BOOBS BIGGER THEN MINE" Zelda snapped at her

"WHAT? Zelda...why are you focusing on my breasts?" Peach asked puzzled

"It's a fact that the Legend of Zelda series is more epic then the Mario series! Therefore, my boobs should be BIGGER then yours."

"Um...Yeah...OK, well I've never noticed and I don't really think I...Zelda, LET GO OF MY ARM!!" Zelda had grabbed Peach was going to kidnap her.

"I have to prove this point to the ENTIRE NINTENDO UNIVERSE!" Zelda then ran off with her captive, with a goal to tell every one about this travesty.

The girls arrive on Donkey Kong Island, where the Kongs, Luigi, Yoshi and, Wario were hanging out.

"Hi, you two girls look like you should be in magazines! ARE YOU LIVING MAGAZINES?" Tiny Kong had asked.

"GATHER ROUND EVERYONE, I HAVE TO TELL YOU SOMETHING." Zelda yelled.

Then the Kongs, Luigi, Yoshi, Wario, King K. Rool and, the Kremlings all came to see what the Princess' had to say."

"We're waiting to hear what you have to say." said an impatient Donkey Kong.

"It has come to my attention that Peach's boobs are bigger than mine, WHY THE HELL ARE PEACH'S BOOBS BIGGER THAN MINE?"

Everyone bursted out in laughter after hearing this.

"Why does it matter, you two get to do what ever you want" Candy Kong Said after catching her breath.

"I'm way less cartoony looking, so I should have bigger boobs. Anyway were leaving" Zelda grabs Peach and takes her through a Luma Portal to take them to the Comet Observatory. Princess Rosalina was drinking Apricot Tea with her friend Princess Midna (in Princess Form).

"Zelda what I just went through was so embarrassing" Peach said in an angry tone. Zelda was determined to tell everyone so they went through another portal to get to Hyrule, where they see Bowser in sunglasses, a tropical shirt and, carrying a suitcase.

"Well that was random, I wonder what's going on?" Said Rosalina In a calm relaxed tone as she took another sip of tea.

"Isn't it obvious, Zelda did the same thing with me last month. She's PMSing and when that happens, you'd better not have bigger breasts than she does." Midna replied the same way and took another sip from her cup.

Back in Hyrule.

"Bowser, I have to tell you that Peach's boobs are bigger then mine, I mean we're almost the SAME AGE!!"

"Bowser just blushed and said " I've never noticed that before, thank you Princess Zelda. Now I'll take Peach with me"

Peach sighed then she said "Take me, I'd rather get kidnapped by you then be Zelda's captive."

Bowser Smiled then said "I can't beleave I never knew about this sex thing every time I kidnapped you in the past. Looks like you and I will be having fun this time." Bowser said seductively.

"I TAKE IT BACK, ZELDA TAKE ME AWAY!" with that Zelda ran at the speed of light to Ordan Village, with poor Peach being pulled with by her arm. Mario and Link were fishing when Zelda and Peach got there. The two men look at the two Princess'.

"Ahem, PEACH HAS BIGGER BOOBS THEN ME" Zelda said violently as she grabbed Peach again and headed to another Luma Portal.

"What-a does a period feel-a like? Mario asked Link

"I'm guessing like a kick in the balls with a spiky steel boot."

"Women-a are strong"

Zelda kept ranting and, taking Peach with her. They made Nana nervous. Marth, Roy and, Ike cross their legs. Krystal hold onto Fox while Falco, Slippy, Peppy, Rob64 and, Wolf (on a another mission to kill Fox) faint. Olimar hid behind his Pikmin when they entered his ship. They made all the Pokémon, Pit and Pokemon Trainer blush. Poor young Lucas and Ness got their minds corrupted. Amy Rose threatened the girls with her hammer when they visited Sonic's world. Snake got a nose bleed while he was hanging over motion detecting floors. Mr. Game and Watch and ROB(Robotic Operating Buddy) were Laughing with beeping noises. Captain Falcon had to run to see Dr. Mario about the trauma he had just encountered. Kirby, Dedede and, Metaknight were about to have a fight of epic proportions, until the Princess' came and completely distracted them.

Midna got bored of watching them jump from portal to portal, so as soon as the two young ladies came out of another portal Midna stopped and asked "Zelda, how big are your breasts when you become Sheik?"

"I look like a man when I'm Sheik, so they're smaller and it doesn't help my situation at all!"

"Help me, she's gone crazy and It's beginning to drive me insane." Peach pleaded "Oh great, here we go again" Zelda took Peach through another portal where they ended up on Samus' ship.

What are you two doing here?" Samus asked while she stood up in her Varia Suit.

"sigh, Zelda wants to tell you something to emphasize her point that by the way is completely pointless." Peach said in a tired voice.

"OK, let me slip into something more comfortable" Samus walked into her room, then five seconds later she comes out in her Zero Suit.

"Look Zelda, Samus has slightly bigger boobs then I do, but I'm not going to get mad about it."

"That's because Samus is a woman and we're a little younger then she is. Anyway, Peach has bigger boobs then me!" Zelda then opens the hatch door, and jumps into a luma portal.

The two girls land on Tetra's pirate ship where everyone's on deck and looking at them with desire. Tetra however is disgusted at what her crew is doing. Zelda goes in front of Link and says angrily "Her boobs are bigger and it's NOT FAIR." Tetra grabs Zelda into her cabin while Peach followed.

Tetra smacks Zelda in the face. "Calm down woman, you're giving me a bad name."

Zelda sighs and looks out the window. She sees a luma portal and she grabs Peach again.

"TODAY COULDN'T GET ANY WORSE! Peach yelled as they went through another portal, this time they ended up in the Dark Realm in front of a pair of red and gold doors.

"This One's the most important" Zelda told Peach.

They opened the doors to see Ganondorf sitting on a throne, staring and smiling at them.

"Princess Zelda, isn't this a pleasant surprise and you brought your sexy friend. Hi Peach."

Peach hid behind Zelda "Zelda I'm scarred. Why is he the most important?"

"If he can take over Hyrule with a clever plan, then he can be the final judge!" Zelda walks closer to the throne Ganondorf's sitting on. "Ganondorf, Peach's boobs are bigger than mine."

Ganondorf smiles "I've never noticed it before! Ladies, feel free to take your clothes off at any time!"

"Now I need you to do an important task, I need you to feel which ones are better." Peach looks at her like she's crazy, while Ganondorf's smile gets wider.

"Dirty blond girl, get over here" Ganondorf demands as Zelda walks over. He gives Zelda's breasts a feel and a squeeze.

"They're OK, Peach it's your turn."

"There's no way I'm letting that beast violate me." Then Zelda pushes Peach forward. Peach didn't only land on the King of darkness, but her lips were on his. Ganondorf being the evil man he was took full advantage of this. Poor Peach was trying to get away, while Ganondorf kept his arms tight around her and slipped his tongue in her mouth. Peach bit his tongue and he put her down, grabbed her right breast and said "Peach's are definitely better than yours."

"Now my point has been proven, thank you Ganondorf!"

"Please come back when you want a second opinion, bye Peach." Ganondorf grabbed Peach's ass, this was the final straw.

"I've had a REALLY BAD DAY!" Peach yells.

Then a random voice calls out "MORTAL KOMBAT"

She walks over to Ganondorf, uses her delicate feminineleg and kicked him into the air. She then did a double jump and kicked Ganondorf again with such an impact that the speed that he was flying backwards was a high velocity. His body was covered in flames as he crashed through steel wall. He then struggled to get up, looked through the huge dent in the wall and said in pain

"Feisty, she'll be perfect as my wife!"

"I want to go home." Peach said while feeling a little guilty and ashamed to kick Ganondorf so hard.

"Wow Peach, you did in ten seconds what would take Link fifteen minutes, and without the Triforce of Courage. I think the power of that kick was OVER NINE THOUSAND" Zelda says in awe.

The two girl escape the Dark Realm through a Luma Portal, which disappeared after they left so Ganondorf couldn't escape. The two girls return to the same spot where this whole adventure started.

"NEXT TIME YOU GET YOUR TIME OF THE MONTH TAKE SOME PILLS FOR IT!" Peach yelled exhausted.

"OK, but I feel much better now, Yet I am craving brownies. LET'S GO BAKE BROWNIES!" Zelda said in cheer.

"Alright, I hope it gets rid of the trauma I've gone through today."

The two girls went to the kitchen to bake brownies because brownies solve all the worlds problems.


End file.
